“To make a relationship last; couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other’s hopes and dreams.”
-Dr. John Gottman
-Dr. John Gottman
Welcome to Elevating Relationships where we provide a couple’s perspective on couples counseling. We are delighted to “meet” you! We hope you enjoy exploring our site and learning more about us and the services that we offer. We love what we do and we are happy to answer any questions that you may have. We look forward to the opportunity to work with you.
Rashawn and Lori Brewster
Are you a couple that experiences relationship satisfaction day to day but seeks out new and exciting opportunities to deepen your level of intimacy and commitment? Couples workshops, self-help books, “Cosmo Magazine” relationship tips and quizzes are all tools that you have used or would consider using to keep your relationship moving in the right direction.
Or maybe you’re newly engaged or considering marriage and you’d like to have a neutral place to discuss some of the important aspects that impact relationships such as finances, family planning, conflict management, parents and in laws, and gender role expectations and you need a bit of assistance navigating through this process?
Or just maybe, you’re a couple that has lost that special spark. You barely remember why you got together in the first place. Perhaps you are arguing about finances, sex, the kids, in-laws, or the position of the toilet seat. Communication is often full of sarcasm, bitterness, and resentment. Your connection is dull at best.
Maybe you can’t even remember the last time your partner held you close and hugged you “just because” and saying “I love you” has become more of a quick ending to a phone call instead of a statement filled with happy heartfelt feelings. One thing you are sure of is that you are tired of the same old argument and you are constantly thinking “something has got to change!”.
Any of these sound familiar? These are the typical couples that we work with and if one of the above scenarios slightly resembles your specific situation, give us a call and let’s schedule a free 15 minute consultation to assess how we can be of service. And if not, give us a call anyways because maybe you’re not exactly sure where you and your partner currently stand and you’d like the opportunity to try and figure things out with a bit of warm and relaxed assistance from someone with expertise.
Do you have this image of therapy that involves an individual lying on a couch and talking about their problems? Yes, we do have a couch in our office but we’re not going to ask you to lay on it with your eyes closed and tell us all about your past, your feelings, or your problems (you can if you want to!). Therapy does not have to be this boring or scary thing. However, we recognize that therapy can be challenging because it creates space for you to be authentic, open to change, and to navigate through some difficult aspects of life. We encourage our couples to be themselves and we often use humor, storytelling, and engaging activities that we hope creates an environment much like sitting in someone’s living room and chatting about the ups and downs of life. Our interactive activities and directive conversations allow for fun and engaging opportunities for you to work on your connection and learn new ways of relating. That doesn’t sound so bad, does it? We don’t believe in a “one size fits all” approach. Our approach is uniquely tailored for each couple based on their strengths, hopes, beliefs, needs, and desires. Additionally, we offer an exclusive “couple to couple” approach that includes a male and female perspective allowing for distinct support and we incorporate research based materials throughout to add solid meat to the experience.
We often get feedback that we have a warm and relaxed style that puts others at ease. As one couple has shared with us, “if only we had this in the beginning of our relationship” referencing the benefits of being able to have a format to express themselves, listen, be heard, learn, and try new concepts within the relationship dynamic.
Every relationship story is different. Ours goes a little something like this… boy meets girl in Tennessee, girl likes boy, boy freaks out, girl moves to Florida, boy moves to Florida to be with girl…we dated, broke up, dated again, took some space, and then reconnected and got married (quick summary but you get the picture). We have been best friends since 2004 and married since 2011 and we both have a high regard for the process of maintaining a lasting and fulfilling relationship. We have experienced the effects of dating, engagement, marriage, divorce, and remarriage through both professional and personal experiences. Because we both experienced failed relationships in the past, we wanted to do everything that we could to ensure we were set up for a successful marriage. We read books, completed assessment tools, talked, received support and guidance, and then talked some more. And then we liked it so much that we got our Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy.
Life is like a rollercoaster, full of its ups and downs, and the trick is in finding ways to navigate it together without flying off the track (and hopefully still liking each other when the ride is over). We believe in the hopeful possibilities within relationships, the healing process when things are not going so well, and we understand the difficult impact of uncoupling on the individual and the extended family. Through our work, we hope to offer a safe and supportive space for couples as they experience these ups and downs of life.
Furthermore, our faith has guided us in our personal journey and we have seen the positive impact it has had on our difficult times. And, while we are not formally trained as Christian therapists, we operate from a place of personal faith in God and the application of loving and respectful actions. We CARE about our relationship and we CARE about yours.
Film Producer Robert Evans said, “There’s three sides to every story, your side, my side and the truth. And no one is lying”. Relationship issues can be quite complex, and there is great benefit to having two relationship experts viewing those issues from multiple angles.
During sessions, we have the opportunity to demonstrate strategies that can be utilized to address issues that couples face on a day to day basis such as fighting fair and effective communication.
We believe in love and sometimes love can be difficult. The road to a fulfilling relationship can be layered with potholes and speed bumps. We’re cruising on the same road too. We CARE about our relationship and we CARE about yours.
We offer a male and female perspective which can be helpful when discussing gender expectations and biases and assumptions of masculine and feminine traits (ex “He’s too controlling” or “She’s too emotional”).