Raise your hand if you always fight fair in your relationship? No below the belt comments about your partner’s mother, or how you’re “not the one to be played with, or “you never this” or “always that.” Any of these sound familiar? First, let us say, fighting is normal, but not the Tyson versus Holyfield kind of fight. If you’ve spent a significant amount of time with your partner, you are going to fight. But do you have to continue fighting dirty? Of course not, but let’s be honest, you’ve been doing this for a long time. Maybe since the 3rd grade when the school bully pushed you down into the washed-out mulch and you punched him or her in the eye or the time at an outdoor basketball court when you were fouled just a bit too hard on an open layup and you called them every name beside a child of God.
You learned very early on how to fight the way you currently do to survive and you will need to learn/train how to fight in a different way to survive the many relationship tests of time. But we don’t want you to just survive; we want you to thrive, TOGETHER. No championship boxer earned their belt by walking off the street and knocking out the champ in their first fight. They had to study the art of boxing, study their weaknesses, train to overcome those weaknesses, build stamina, and apply the right skills and techniques over and over again to become successful. In regards to learning how to fight fair (no ear-biting, please) couples therapy can mimic a similar process and result in finding a conflict resolution. You meet with a “trainer” aka therapist who helps you understand your strengths and weaknesses, areas for growth and increased stamina, and then challenges you to implement those newly acquired skills over and over again until they become a bit more habitual; helping you to become the best “fighter” you can be. And learning these skills is important because the belt that couples “fight” for typically wraps around their fingers instead of their waist and most don’t plan on ever giving up that belt.
-Rashawn Brewster
If you’re ready to train and keep your belt click the link below to complete a short survey or just give us a call at 754-900-1525.